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Reflection on 2023
Jan. 1st, 2024 07:52 pmI've enjoyed reading other people's posts looking back on the past year and I thought I'd do the same. I've noticed on Twitter, which is where I follow a lot of academics, and Bluesky, where I follow academics but also a lot fewer people that there's a cynical take to 2023 as if it were a dumpster fire of a year in general.
I don't find this framing of a year helpful. It is too full of cynical despair. I feel like since 2020, it's been a running joke to accept that every year is as bad or worse than the last. That is not the energy I am bringing to this reflection because that's not true for me on so many levels. Instead, I want to reflect on personal experiences that gave me power and energy going forward or things I need to grapple with and things that left a lasting impression.
1. I ran my fastest marathon ever and my first every Boston Qualifying time this year.
2. My application for full professor was unanimously supported by my department's tenure and promotion committee and chair and is moving on to the next level (the Dean's office).
3. I had a really meaningful heart-to-heart with a friend whose friendship I thought I had lost last year. There were issues last year but some of those stem from my own internal struggle with aging.
4. I have a primary care physician.
5. I have caught up on all my vaccinations and medical screenings.
6. I still need to focus on my mental health. That is the one aspect of my health that I continue to put aside for fear or failure of fear of the consequences of doing that work.
7. I am now the president of a Belgian NGO - something I was reluctant to take on - but I think I am learning as I go and developing new leadership skills as we grow this very new organization.
8. I have a book contract!
9. I am grappling with perimenopause and the effects of aging on my self-image, physical body, and mental health. I think I really struggle with anxiety on such a level that I never realized but anxiety is also a perimenopausal symptom so I don't know how much is trauma and how much is hormones.
10. In the past year, I have really grappled with my own confirmation bias and am questioning to what degree I have allowed myself to be swayed by black-and-white thinking or by scams and conspiracy thinking packaged to persuade otherwise educated people who think they are about being manipulated. The demise of Twitter has exacerbated this worry.
11. I am worried I am a source of misinformation and rage farming.
12. My in laws are safer and healthier and more stable than they were a year ago. I am grateful for that though it took such a toll on my husband.
13. I have been alive for half a century!
14. I finally saw Stonehenge.
15. i missed out on seeing a lot of people and enjoying an epic conference in Iceland due to COVID - specifically, my husband was infected and not feeling well and I decided to stay home just in case and because I anticipated I would test positive and didn't want to infect anyone. I did not end up testing positive. It was a hard week and i know a number of people thought I was being too precious/overly cautious. That was the lowest point for me this year - which was sad and disappointing at the time but not tragic. I had so many other good expereinces this year and will be seeing many of the same people in an upcoming. conference. But still, it stands out in my mind as an example of where I maybe am outside the norm around COVID and how my choices and behaviors may confuse my friends or even let them down.
I don't find this framing of a year helpful. It is too full of cynical despair. I feel like since 2020, it's been a running joke to accept that every year is as bad or worse than the last. That is not the energy I am bringing to this reflection because that's not true for me on so many levels. Instead, I want to reflect on personal experiences that gave me power and energy going forward or things I need to grapple with and things that left a lasting impression.
1. I ran my fastest marathon ever and my first every Boston Qualifying time this year.
2. My application for full professor was unanimously supported by my department's tenure and promotion committee and chair and is moving on to the next level (the Dean's office).
3. I had a really meaningful heart-to-heart with a friend whose friendship I thought I had lost last year. There were issues last year but some of those stem from my own internal struggle with aging.
4. I have a primary care physician.
5. I have caught up on all my vaccinations and medical screenings.
6. I still need to focus on my mental health. That is the one aspect of my health that I continue to put aside for fear or failure of fear of the consequences of doing that work.
7. I am now the president of a Belgian NGO - something I was reluctant to take on - but I think I am learning as I go and developing new leadership skills as we grow this very new organization.
8. I have a book contract!
9. I am grappling with perimenopause and the effects of aging on my self-image, physical body, and mental health. I think I really struggle with anxiety on such a level that I never realized but anxiety is also a perimenopausal symptom so I don't know how much is trauma and how much is hormones.
10. In the past year, I have really grappled with my own confirmation bias and am questioning to what degree I have allowed myself to be swayed by black-and-white thinking or by scams and conspiracy thinking packaged to persuade otherwise educated people who think they are about being manipulated. The demise of Twitter has exacerbated this worry.
11. I am worried I am a source of misinformation and rage farming.
12. My in laws are safer and healthier and more stable than they were a year ago. I am grateful for that though it took such a toll on my husband.
13. I have been alive for half a century!
14. I finally saw Stonehenge.
15. i missed out on seeing a lot of people and enjoying an epic conference in Iceland due to COVID - specifically, my husband was infected and not feeling well and I decided to stay home just in case and because I anticipated I would test positive and didn't want to infect anyone. I did not end up testing positive. It was a hard week and i know a number of people thought I was being too precious/overly cautious. That was the lowest point for me this year - which was sad and disappointing at the time but not tragic. I had so many other good expereinces this year and will be seeing many of the same people in an upcoming. conference. But still, it stands out in my mind as an example of where I maybe am outside the norm around COVID and how my choices and behaviors may confuse my friends or even let them down.
