Where's the Dickens - Sherlock's Texts

[pennswoods]

Here at long last are all the posts that Sherlock sent and received yesterday. I've made a few edits when I noticed a typing error or something.  Sherlock got a bit behind while otherwise engaged in the evening and some may appear out of order and if you have suggestions for changes or reorderings or additions, feel free to make them in the comments.

This was such a blast, and I love all the crazy storylines that evolved in parallel. I hope we can clean each of these up to post as actual text stories or subchapters to Where's he Dickens. drinkingcocoa and I have been working on one ourselves and you can see what the almost finished product looks like here: http://pennswoods.livejournal.com/437669.html


Mycroft & Sherlock
Mycroft: Sherlock, your birthday tomorrow. Lunch to celebrate? Anthea can make reservation
Sherlock: What do you want, Mycroft? You’re not one for sentiment. -SH
Mycroft: Want? Nothing but to celebrate your birthday as Mother would have liked us to do.
Sherlock: You know it’s not my birthday. What do you really want? -SH
Mycroft: Birthday to share our love of Dickens. Important.
Sherlock: Never mind lunch. And you know I hate Dickens. -SH
Mycroft: All right. Fine. You have work to do for me. Meet me tomorrow and discuss
Sherlock: You know where I live. If you want to meet, you come here. -SH
Mycroft: So you are taking the case I have then
Sherlock: Obviously. I’m bored. –SH
********************************
Mycroft: Forget the case. Too easy for you
Mycroft: Its not your bday. You said so yourself.
********************************
Mycroft: Where is Watson?
********************************
Sherlock: You and Molly? Is that wise? -SH
Mycroft: What’s the matter, S? Jealous?
Sherlock: No. Not my area. –SH
Mycroft: Now you sound like Lestrade.
Sherlock: Clearly he’s rubbing off on me. Be kind to Molly. Her last boyfriend was almost as manipulative as you. -SH

Sherlock to ALL
Sherlock: Birthdays are boring. –SH
Sherlock: And it’s not my birthday. It’s a diversion from Moriarty. -SH

Lestrade & Sherlock
Sherlock: Mycroft is pulling your strings again, I see. -SH
Lestrade: Do you have the manuscript yet? Just got a file from one of his people. Don’t want to know how he knew where I was getting coffee.
Sherlock: Yes. Have you swept for bugs? -SH
Lestrade: You’re set for the case then? Thanks for the tip. I’ll make Anderson do it if he questions me again.
Sherlock: Recommend twice a week at minimum. Three times a week if Anderson. -SH
*************************
Lestrade: Coming over to 221b right away. John and Sherlock, you WILL stay together this time if I have to handcuff you together myself.
Sherlock: Come to Barts. –SH
Sherlock: Moriarty has been in touch. The Dickens is his idea of a birthday present. -SH
Lestrade: Coming
**********************
Lestrade: Sherlock, please tell me you’re with John and haven’t gone off on your own again.
Sherlock: John is returning form the dentists. Joining me at Barts. Suspect he’s been drugged. -SH
Lestrade: Shit. I fancied someone else as a damsel in distress this time. That Moriarty sure has a fixation, doesn’t he?
*********************
Lestrade: Sherlock, what is he on about NOW? Latest from your fan Moriarty: You better get your wonderboy on my last riddle or this manuscript is going up in flames.
Sherlock: Empty threat. I know where the real manuscript is. -SH
Lestrade: Molly and Mrs. Hudson were brilliant. While Moriarty’s men were expecting the bomb squad, they walked right in and defused it all. Our guys rounded up snipers.

Molly & Sherlock
Sherlock: Molly, I need a favor. -SH
Molly: It’s 8:02 a.m. I just woke up. What can I do? –Molly
Sherlock: I see. Another late night in with the telly. I need access to the lab and Stamford seems to be ignoring my calls. –SH
Molly: What are you going to do? The lab supervisor was not happy after you used up all the parafilm and ethyl bromide and left the formaldehyde in the fume hood.
Molly: He didn’t know it was you though. I told him it was me.
Sherlock: I can always count on you. John and I will be there in 20. -SH
Molly: Don’t touch Dr. Stevenson’s samples in the freezer.
Sherlock: And if your supervisor gives you any grief, ask him about Sylvia. -SH
Molly: I don’t even want to know.
Molly: Oh my god, Sherlock, I think Jim just texted me. Something about Sir Bragsalot and a manuscript. What should I do?
Molly: Is it your birthday today?
Sherlock: A pointless rumor started by your ex-boyfriend. -SH
Molly: Oh no, he just sent me another one. He says he likes to burn things. 
Molly: And he’s not my ex-boyfriend. We only wen t out a couple of times. I don’t think we were ever together.
Molly: If it’s really your birthday, I don’t think you would want other people to know. If it was really your birthday, I would like to do something nice for you.
Sherlock: Get me some thumbs. A handful will do. –SH
Sherlock: Molly, try to focus. -SH
Molly: I have a fresh cadaver delivered just 30 minutes ago. He died of Kaposi’s sarcoma, first time I’ve seen one in ages.
Molly: Could be interesting? Would you like a look? It can be your birthday present  Except you can’t take any of him with you.
Sherlock: Thumbs would be nice. And a tongue. -SH
Molly: Greg said it’s your birthday today.  Happy Birthday.
Molly: Okay, so Greg told me to go to Stamford’s to hide from Jim. So, please don’t take anything from the mortuary. Even if it’s your birthday. I’m sorry.
**********************************
Sherlock: Birthdays are boring. –SH
Sherlock: And it’s not my birthday. It’s a diversion from Moriarty. -SH
Molly: Did you finish in the lab yet? I’m at Stamford’s right now. Do you have any plans today? Do you want to get coffee?
Molly: How can your birthday be a diversion?
Sherlock: Not a good time. –SH
Sherlock: Try to keep up, Molly! The rumor is the diversion. Has Jim been in contact? -SH
Molly: No, he hasn't. Greg insisted I stay at Stamford's. I finished all of my paperwork. I really should go back to work. I have to do an autopsy on a dwarf.
**************************
Molly: Sherlock, where are you? Are you okay? – Molly
Molly: Sherlock, Mycroft says someone’s playing a bad trick. And Irene’s been texting me. She says you’re just friends but. You’ve seen her naked.
Molly: Is she your girlfriend? –Molly
Sherlock: Don’t be tedious. -SH
Molly: You say that sometimes when I say something true and you don’t want to talk about it. It’s okay. You can talk to me.
Sherlock: Molly, not now! -SH
Molly: Oh wait. I think I understand. You love John. In THAT way. I thought it wasn’t true, but I understand now. Okay, that makes a lot of sense.
Sherlock: You're as bad as the newspapers. - SH
Molly: You know, your brother is nicer to me. Does he like coffee?
Sherlock: I am truly sorry, Molly. You have always been a good friend. -SH
Molly: I like you. I still like you. But you’re so mean sometimes.
Sherlock: I know. -SH
Molly: So you know you’re mean and you say these horrible things to me anyway?
Molly: I hope you don’t treat John the same way. Well, maybe it’s because he has combat training. Or maybe that’s why you like him. That he has combat training.
Sherlock: I'm afraid this is not my area, Molly. This is why I rely so on John and my other friends. -SH
Molly: Oh. So. You and John. You don’t. Um.
Sherlock: His skills do come in handy. But I value him for so much more. -SH
Molly: Oh that’s actually. Quite romantic. And very sweet. I hope you tell John these things.
Sherlock: No. We’re friends. Good friends! -SH
Molly: Really? John thinks otherwise. Oh, no wonder Mrs. Hudson never heard you and John being, um. Intimate.
Sherlock: Molly…I don’t know what you think John implied. -SH
Molly: I’m so confused. Do you mean you and he are not together?
Molly: John keeps talking about teaching you about planet Uranus. What is he on about?
Sherlock: He is appalled by my knowledge of the solar system. -SH
Molly: Is he? Why now of all times to talking about planets?
Molly: Um, guess you and he are having your birthday celebration. After a fashion. Happy Birthday, Sherlock.
Molly: And use a condom. If you and John want to get STD panels done, I’ll be happy to do it for you.
Sherlock: You’re a good friend. Must run. John is waiting. -SH
Molly: Alright. I hope you have a good night? Oh, I mean, I know you will have a good night. With John. Er. Okay. I should shut up now.
Molly: Oh, and I told Lestrade and John about that male cadaver’s um, member, that you took the other day. I don’t know why you wanted it, even if it was for an experiment.

Moriarty & Sherlock
Moriarty: I hear IOU a birthday present.
Sherlock: Not my birthday. -SH
Moriarty: But I am all dressed up for a special occasion!
Sherlock: How impractical. -SH
Moriarty: What the Dickens are you up to anyway? Anything interesting???
Sherlock: Very clever. And I suppose this was your idea of a birthday surprise? -SH
Moriarty: It’s only a surprise if you see them in person. In the mood for a riddle?
Moriarty: 07021812387 If you can tell me what the dickens this means I will give you another clue.
Moriarty: You have 3 hours.
Sherlock: At least give me a challenge. Date and location of Dickens’s birth. -SH
Moriarty: Bravo
Moriarty: Hopefully my sexy feet don’t distract that beautiful mind of yours.
Sherlock: Not likely. -SH
Sherlock: Birthdays are boring. –SH
Sherlock: And it’s not my birthday. It’s a diversion from Moriarty. -SH
Moriarty: Life is boring.
Moriarty: You can keep telling yourself that.
*******************************
Moriarty: Wondering if you’re getting sentimental about your birthday. Is it slowing you down with my last riddle? Need a clue?
Moriarty: Of course you won’t admit you need a clue.
Moriarty: The place relates to child labor.
Moriarty: Your flatmate just offered to assassinate your brother for me.
Moriarty: And now he’s flirting with me. Have you been withholding affections?
Sherlock: What riddle? You’re mad if you think you sent me a riddle I couldn’t solve. -SH
Sherlock: You call this a riddle?
************************************
Moriarty: Irene and I have a date tonight. Are you jealous?
Sherlock: You always misjudge John. –SH
Moriarty: The picture? You have been too busy engaging in birthday frivolities.
Sherlock: And you’ve been too busy with Irene to realize your photos have been intercepted. -SH
Moriarty: I have nothing to hide. Do you?
Sherlock: Hiding is pointless. -SH
Moriarty: Irene says hello
Sherlock: Give her my regards. And tell her sorry about dinner. -SH
Moriarty: She had a better offer.
Sherlock: As did I. John awaits. -SH
Moriarty: Ouch if only I were sentimental.
Moriarty: Miss me?
Sherlock: Not in the least. -SH
Moriarty: Oh be honest.
Moriarty: Irene poured you a beverage

Irene & Sherlock
Irene: I heard today is your birthday. Let’s have dinner.
Sherlock: A vicious rumor. Sorry about dinner. –SH
Irene: I’m not entirely sure I believe that. You were born some time, darling. But I’ll play along. Someone is spreading awful gossip about you, poor thing. Let me take you to dinner, I’ll make it all better.
Sherlock: What is Moriarty’s interest in Dickens? -SH
Irene: I don’t think has an interest in Dickens so much as an interest in playing mind games with you.
Irene: I could change that.
Sherlock: Do that and I might consider dinner. -SH
Irene: You do know what a good birthday with me would entail, correct?
Sherlock: Birthdays are boring. –SH
Sherlock: And it’s not my birthday. It’s a diversion from Moriarty. -SH
****************************
Irene: You having an exciting birthday? I didn’t imagine you could without me…
Sherlock: Your former associate is keeping me rather busy. –SH
Irene: Jim? Nothing former about it, darling. I’m on my way to meet him now. I hear he’s got a very captivating video of you and the good doctor.

Mrs. Hudson & Sherlock
Sherlock: Where’s my skull! -SH
Mrs. Hudson: I should think it’s inside your head dear but really how should I know. I’m not your housekeeper, dear.
Sherlock: Thank you for that helpful reply. John and I will be late. Something cold would be nice. And do return the skull. -SH
******************************
Sherlock: Birthdays are boring. –SH
Sherlock: And it’s not my birthday. It’s a diversion from Moriarty. -SH
Mrs. Hudson: Who is Moriarty dear is he the one who is sending me strange messages not your birthday really so no cake
*****************************
Mrs. Hudson: Sherlock dear john just suggested I put rat poison in the womans tea you are clearly a bad influence on that poor doctor
Sherlock: I fear John has not been himself today. -SH
Mrs. Hudson: Did you drug his coffee again dear
Sherlock: No, Mrs. Hudson. I’ve learned my lesson. –SH
Mrs. Hudson: Thats lovely dear you should be ever so good to the doctor hes so kind to put up with you
Sherlock: Yes he is. I heard about your work with the bomb today. Baker street is in good hands. -SH

John & Sherlock
Sherlock: John, meet me at Barts in 20. –SH
Sherlock: Moriarty has been in touch. The Dickens is his idea of a birthday present. -SH
John: Just getting back to Baker Street. Not getting text from Moriarty because phone doesn’t do multimedia.
Sherlock: Birthdays are boring. –SH
Sherlock: And it’s not my birthday. It’s a diversion from Moriarty. -SH
John: I know you hate birthdays, but just suck it up and eat the cake. Mrs. Hudson has went to a lot of trouble.
Sherlock: Fine. Has Moriarty contacted you recently? -SH
John: No, it won’t go through on my phone. Not surprised he’s calling, he can’t stand for you to get any attention at all.
Sherlock: Just as well. I’m at Barts. Meet me in the lab. -SH
John: On my way. Anything interesting?
Sherlock: A fraudulent Dickens. -SH
John: Hmmm, is it true that Moriarty is hung like a baby gerkins, Mycroft said he has photos. This would explain all his anger issues.
Sherlock: Who is this and what have you done to John? -SH
John: It’s me. Just a bit off due to the Novocain.
John: You didn’t answer my question. Little man complex anger = anger issues. I bet he bought that suit in the kids department at harrods.
Sherlock: Brilliant deduction I’m sure. -SH
John: Finally got a deduction right ;)
*************************************
Sherlock: John. Where are you? -SH
John: Getting in a cab, I think it’s a cab. Everything really strange. I swear I might just be in at a school picking up kids. I don’t have kids!!! Wtf!
John: Taking these kids home, their parents must be worried. I’ll be at St. Barts in about 20 mins. Do you need me to bring your riding crop?
Sherlock: Bring the skull. I need someone sober to talk to. -SH
John: Can’t find it, I think Mrs. Hudson hid it again.
**************************************
John: If you flirt with Irene tonight, I’m filling your violin with concrete. JW
Sherlock: John. What have they done to you? -SH
John: Jim and Irene have been at me all day. They both implied you’d get bored with me. Of course they have never met BAMF john like you have.
Sherlock: They could never understand what we have.
John: Exactly. I think I need a hug, and wear the purple shirt would you.
Sherlock: As long as you promise not to wear that horrible jumper. -SH
John: What are you going to do with all that left over icing? We need to get rid of it before Mycroft gains some more pounds.
John: The jumper has been off for ages.
Sherlock: I was planning to use it in an experiment. -SH
John: Experiment for two? Molly needs some as well, she’s asking your brother out ;)
Sherlock: I warned her about dating. -SH
John: Who! Molly? What did Mycroft do?
John: Maybe?, not sure? What are you talking about? Just remember jim lies!
Sherlock: John, is there something you want to tell me? -SH

Comments

[drinkingcocoa.livejournal.com]

Oh. My. God.

I'm especially happy to be seeing what Irene was up to, since her path and Lestrade's don't really cross.

[pennswoods.livejournal.com]

Yes! Irene and Moriarty actually met up in real life since they're both in Seattle. I think they could have continued texting Sherlock for another few hours but it was going on 1am my time, and I had to sleep Sherlock was otherwise occupied with John. :D

[akemi42.livejournal.com]

Yeah we would have harassed you into the night due to our time difference.

[dragonsinger954.livejournal.com]

ROFLMAO

Poor John picking up kids he don't even have ROFLROFLROFL

John was in bad shape:D

[pennswoods.livejournal.com]

I know! Dix killed me with that bit. I pictured her madly sending lascivious texts to Sherlock while picking her kids up at school. An I wonder if she really was high on novocain!

[drinkingcocoa.livejournal.com]

Ahhh, I didn't even catch that! That she was picking up her own! Of course!

It's rather amazing that she impersonated drugged!John for the whole thing. Truly a feat.

[dragonsinger954.livejournal.com]

You left off Mycroft's last reply to Sherlock *grins* lol

[pennswoods.livejournal.com]

Do you mind if I leave it like that. Sherlock likes to have the last word. :D

[dragonsinger954.livejournal.com]

Mycroft is rolling his eyes but says that's fine with him Lol

[dixiebell12.livejournal.com]

Lololololollo, it was a blast. I did keep getting confused, I had so many texts coming at me at once, it was hard to keep up. Add two kids looking over my shoulder and a nosy hubby,my washing machine over flowed, it's no wonder John was way out of character. I was trying to text one handed and use a mop with the other. Hope I wasn't too much of a disaster.

As for picking up the kids, I had to let you know I was in the car and wouldn't be able to text for a bit:)

[pennswoods.livejournal.com]

I loved the dentist bit and referencing your real life to let us know about your texting situation. I wished I had thought to cleverly explain that Sherlock was offline in his mind palace or something when I had to go teach and stuff. It would have been keeping in character.

I actually think you were awesome with telling Sherlock what's what and then it got all good and slashy at the end! Hee!!

[akemi42.livejournal.com]

It was so not a disaster. You were awesome! And I learned what a baby gerkin is.

[dixiebell12.livejournal.com]

Of course I misspelled it, or you would have probably gotten it sooner. I love how they call that penis shaped building in London the gherkin. So that just popped into my head *G*

The one line I flubbed that would have been funny if you're a star trek fan.
Dammit Jim, I'm only a doctor! and I would have to go and forget to put the "Jim" in there *G*

You were an absolute riot! It was so hard to keep up with you :)

Hugs,
Dix

[elenauial.livejournal.com]

Eeee! These are awesome! I'm loving reading everyone's different conversations!

Here is what Irene got up to during the day! (Unlocked in case anyone else who's not already on my flist wants to read it!)

What a fun day!

[pennswoods.livejournal.com]

Irene and Moriarty were texting machines. And I love that you fit in some last minute cosplay!

[foxestacado.livejournal.com]

Oh wow. BWHAHAHAA. Hearing more about the Dickens case was fascinating. And did you really figure out the numbers yourself? This is why I can never play Sherlock. I'm not smart enough.

HAHAHA, THIS:

Sherlock: You and Molly? Is that wise? -SH
Mycroft: What’s the matter, S? Jealous?
Sherlock: No. Not my area. –SH
Mycroft: Now you sound like Lestrade.
Sherlock: Clearly he’s rubbing off on me. Be kind to Molly. Her last boyfriend was almost as manipulative as you. -SH

IS HILARIOUS. And makes Molly's heart flutter. D'aww, Sherlock's protectiveness showing.

LOL, really surprised there was no sexting between Sherlock and John, given John's shamelessness about the whole thing with Molly, LOL.

I really loved reading the exchanges between Sherlock and Moriarty, given that Molly's paths didn't really cross with Moriarty. Brilliant. Just brilliant.

[pennswoods.livejournal.com]

I did. I was in a total panic when I got it because I'm not clever like Sherlock, so I hit Wikipedia and saw the date of Dickens's date of birth matched the first 8 numbers. I had to scramble for the remaining 3, so I looked up info on museums and came to a page that had the street address of the house he was born in. Oh man. Whew!

Sherlock was really being a bit of a dick to Molly, and he really does need to show his appreciation for her better.

I think Sherlock was so busy dodging John's advances that the sexting didn't happen. Heheheh! John really was a hound though. You should see some of his interaction with Irene!

And chaeche was an amazing Moriarty. I love that she had puzzles for Sherlock.

[akemi42.livejournal.com]

This totally explains John's behavior! And that line about the telly was so harsh. You were such a fantastic Sherlock.

[pennswoods.livejournal.com]

Poor John. Sherlock was a bit slow on the uptake. Not quite his area. And Sherlock does seem to save his harshest comments for Molly. But she gave as good as she got. Rudeness doesn't deter her.

I'm so glad you liked my Sherlock. I'm not used to being a terse asshole, although it was fun. Your Jim was fabulously nuts and provocative!

[voxangelus.livejournal.com]

Hee, I'm so glad you're all posting these text logs. Too much fun :D

[pennswoods.livejournal.com]

They are nuts. Hopefully most are unlocked so you can see what some of the other side conversations were. Irene and Moriarty were wicked!