Start of Term Highs and Lows
Aug. 26th, 2026 10:50 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pennswoodsClasses began on Monday and I had therapy that day. I wasn't sure what to talk about, but I ended up doing a lot of crying and felt so drained afterward. Stress always brings out the worst in me. I have a tenure review application due on Sept 15, the same day as a Fulbright application and will be in Ireland/N. Ireland Sept 6-14, so I am just worried I won't get that shit done. Mentally, I have to make it through the 15th and then the 28th and on to the next big deadline. That is life - I will get it done. But I always, always doubt my ability to do so.
The Fulbright is for a research project at the University of Calgary in Canada that I would really like to do as part of my sabbatical next fall. I had started making plans with my U of C colleagues for this back in January, which was BEFORE I got into Heated Rivalry, but being in HR has only sweetened my desire to spend 4-5 months in the country of my birth. I'm getting too excited thinking about this and need to get the application done first - me getting this is no guarantee!
Speaking of HR, reports from set and photos (there is no equivalent #setlock tag for the HR fandom) revealed that Connor Storrie had his hair cut really short. This means that his curls are gone. I was initially laughing about the fandom reaction to this, but then felt sad on Monday the more I thought about it.
One of my favorite tropes in HR fic is Shane grabbing Ilya's curls. There's a lot of that in season 1 of the show too - it's kind of adorable. However, I can see how haircuts can be used to show the passage of time in the visual storytelling of a television show - Shane's hair is going to be longer than it was in S1, so Ilya's shorn locks may also be used to signify greater maturity. Of course, shorn hair can also be used to depict a character's state of mind and that's what was getting me down. Season 2 is going to deal with all or portions of The Long Game and the mental health themes that are prominent there. It's possible the haircut is about that - Ilya's mental health. Therapy made me think too hard about this on Monday, and so I too found myself saddened about the loss of Ilya's beautiful curls.
Sometimes I get so excited about spoilers and casting announcements for season 2 of HR, and other times I get worried about the state of mind I will be in when it airs and afterward. In 2014, when S3 of Sherlock aired, I was a complete and utter mess after the conclusion of The Sign of Three because I was viewing it through the lens of heartbreak and my Johnlock glasses. I think I sobbed for a week. It was too much, and I never want to feel that way after watching a television show again. The good news is that Shane and Ilya's story is a romance (whereas Sherlock WAS NOT) , so there is an eventual HEA and any heartbreak along the way is a plot point meant to deepen their commitment to each other. I have read ALL the books and I will read the next one to come out next year, and can always turn to them for solace no matter what the TV show throws at us or where the TV show ends each episode or season.
I am a grown ass woman and I will regulate my emotions and take steps not to let myself get carried away by the fictional relationship of fictional characters.
I think some of my emotionality is just stress and worry about the start of the year and return to the many different deadlines, obligations and responsibilities that I could take a break from for a little while.
The Fulbright is for a research project at the University of Calgary in Canada that I would really like to do as part of my sabbatical next fall. I had started making plans with my U of C colleagues for this back in January, which was BEFORE I got into Heated Rivalry, but being in HR has only sweetened my desire to spend 4-5 months in the country of my birth. I'm getting too excited thinking about this and need to get the application done first - me getting this is no guarantee!
Speaking of HR, reports from set and photos (there is no equivalent #setlock tag for the HR fandom) revealed that Connor Storrie had his hair cut really short. This means that his curls are gone. I was initially laughing about the fandom reaction to this, but then felt sad on Monday the more I thought about it.
One of my favorite tropes in HR fic is Shane grabbing Ilya's curls. There's a lot of that in season 1 of the show too - it's kind of adorable. However, I can see how haircuts can be used to show the passage of time in the visual storytelling of a television show - Shane's hair is going to be longer than it was in S1, so Ilya's shorn locks may also be used to signify greater maturity. Of course, shorn hair can also be used to depict a character's state of mind and that's what was getting me down. Season 2 is going to deal with all or portions of The Long Game and the mental health themes that are prominent there. It's possible the haircut is about that - Ilya's mental health. Therapy made me think too hard about this on Monday, and so I too found myself saddened about the loss of Ilya's beautiful curls.
Sometimes I get so excited about spoilers and casting announcements for season 2 of HR, and other times I get worried about the state of mind I will be in when it airs and afterward. In 2014, when S3 of Sherlock aired, I was a complete and utter mess after the conclusion of The Sign of Three because I was viewing it through the lens of heartbreak and my Johnlock glasses. I think I sobbed for a week. It was too much, and I never want to feel that way after watching a television show again. The good news is that Shane and Ilya's story is a romance (whereas Sherlock WAS NOT) , so there is an eventual HEA and any heartbreak along the way is a plot point meant to deepen their commitment to each other. I have read ALL the books and I will read the next one to come out next year, and can always turn to them for solace no matter what the TV show throws at us or where the TV show ends each episode or season.
I am a grown ass woman and I will regulate my emotions and take steps not to let myself get carried away by the fictional relationship of fictional characters.
I think some of my emotionality is just stress and worry about the start of the year and return to the many different deadlines, obligations and responsibilities that I could take a break from for a little while.
