*massive hugs* I'm so glad you've tracked down the source of this awful phobia and persistent shame. Obviously, it's not going to go away overnight, but I do hope that it'll help knowing that this is coming from a hurt-child place. I know you' don't hold others to the impossibly high standards to which you hold yourself, and I hope you're able to extend yourself the same grace that you extend to your fellow humans, none of whom are perfect and free from failure. Wrapping you in a shame-proof blanket for the time being and oh so many hugs.
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Date: 2024-10-31 08:03 pm (UTC)