This is a great question, so thanks for asking it and opening up the discussion (and sharing your answer....I give you kudos for being brave and honest to share that). *hugs*
So, I found slash while I was still a bit young, and that actually got me into Harry Potter and the world of fic and fan art. I don't think it was until my parents go divorced and we lost our house and such that I turned to Harry Potter to cope with loneliness and stress. I was trying to make sure I had a good path paved out for me and many of my friends actually pushed me away simply because I was "poorer" and only had my mum. It hurt, which was why I invested myself in ships since it was a way to experience the lives of other characters. I didn't have to think about all the crap that was happening to me.
My first OTP was Harry/Draco and still is today. I've grown to love other ships in other fandoms too like Johnlock and Arthur/Merlin, because personalities just work together so well but H/D sticks with me because I find a bit of myself in Harry and Draco. I can related to Harry feeling like he's carrying the whole world on his shoulders and sometimes he has to make the hardest choices. And with Draco, I can see myself trying to be just as ambitious as he is, and sometimes questioning if I've made the right choices or not. And well, I'm literally half Gryffindor and half Slytherin.
Nevertheless, shipping just makes me happy because it's almost like putting the pieces of myself together and making things work. I like that they're opposites but they have always been drawn to each other. They're complex people and it's hard for them to trust others. I actually loved how shipping has given me a whole imagination of what these blokes would like as a fan artist and it has let me play with a lot of different things (making comics to painting a picture).
I can especially say that shipping and really loving a pair got me into participating in fests and just sharing the joy and passion others had for ship has been awesome. Shipping also kind of gives you that "what if" imagination...what if things didn't happen as they did. It's fun concept to play with...shipping is like a hugggeee sandbox and you just have so many toys to play with.
But more so, I think when it comes to shipping, it shows that you're devoted in a way because you're paying attention to the story the characters...and you just care about them. It's not just reading a story and being like, "Okay, it's done.". You're analyzing how relationships can work out between each other, coming up with opinion about different scenarios that can happen, and it's just another creative way embrace what you like.
Probably without the shipping, I don't know if I would be heavily invested in the fandoms I enjoy, to be honest. For me, whether I find some of myself in characters or not, I like the idea of following the interactions of some complex characters...it's literally like trying to make an impossible problem...possible if that makes sense. Anything that can make me feel a bit of agnst, or happiness when I read or see something is good for me.
So maybe shipping is a distraction, but it kind of keeps me sane when everything else is going wrong. Which unfortunately is quite frequently. It's something I've stuck to for a long time and it has gotten me through a lot (stress from school, work, dealing with family, etc.).
no subject
So, I found slash while I was still a bit young, and that actually got me into Harry Potter and the world of fic and fan art. I don't think it was until my parents go divorced and we lost our house and such that I turned to Harry Potter to cope with loneliness and stress. I was trying to make sure I had a good path paved out for me and many of my friends actually pushed me away simply because I was "poorer" and only had my mum. It hurt, which was why I invested myself in ships since it was a way to experience the lives of other characters. I didn't have to think about all the crap that was happening to me.
My first OTP was Harry/Draco and still is today. I've grown to love other ships in other fandoms too like Johnlock and Arthur/Merlin, because personalities just work together so well but H/D sticks with me because I find a bit of myself in Harry and Draco. I can related to Harry feeling like he's carrying the whole world on his shoulders and sometimes he has to make the hardest choices. And with Draco, I can see myself trying to be just as ambitious as he is, and sometimes questioning if I've made the right choices or not. And well, I'm literally half Gryffindor and half Slytherin.
Nevertheless, shipping just makes me happy because it's almost like putting the pieces of myself together and making things work. I like that they're opposites but they have always been drawn to each other. They're complex people and it's hard for them to trust others. I actually loved how shipping has given me a whole imagination of what these blokes would like as a fan artist and it has let me play with a lot of different things (making comics to painting a picture).
I can especially say that shipping and really loving a pair got me into participating in fests and just sharing the joy and passion others had for ship has been awesome. Shipping also kind of gives you that "what if" imagination...what if things didn't happen as they did. It's fun concept to play with...shipping is like a hugggeee sandbox and you just have so many toys to play with.
But more so, I think when it comes to shipping, it shows that you're devoted in a way because you're paying attention to the story the characters...and you just care about them. It's not just reading a story and being like, "Okay, it's done.". You're analyzing how relationships can work out between each other, coming up with opinion about different scenarios that can happen, and it's just another creative way embrace what you like.
Probably without the shipping, I don't know if I would be heavily invested in the fandoms I enjoy, to be honest. For me, whether I find some of myself in characters or not, I like the idea of following the interactions of some complex characters...it's literally like trying to make an impossible problem...possible if that makes sense. Anything that can make me feel a bit of agnst, or happiness when I read or see something is good for me.
So maybe shipping is a distraction, but it kind of keeps me sane when everything else is going wrong. Which unfortunately is quite frequently. It's something I've stuck to for a long time and it has gotten me through a lot (stress from school, work, dealing with family, etc.).