pennswoods: (Default)

It was sometime toward the beginning of third year that Trevor discovered a little slice of heaven - the Prefect’s Bathroom. Being a fastidious toad, Trevor enjoyed a good bubble bath. He also found the mermaid painting to be an excellent source of gossip.

And as he was a rather curious little animal, he didn’t mind the occasional show he was able to witness on those rare occasions when certain prefects decided to play their own private game of “water quidditch”.

 The Topsy-Turvy Tales of Trevor the Toad
-Excerpt from Chapter 7: Something Squishy this Way Comes

pennswoods: Trevor Tales (Trevor Tales)

After only a few weeks at Hogwarts, Trevor gave up trying to befriend the pets of Neville’s roommates. Ron Weasley’s pudgy, lethargic rat was oddly antisocial, Dean Thomas’s flobberworm was pathetically dull, and Harry Potter’s owl was an irritating snob.

As far as Trevor was concerned, having to deliver the post every day was not something to be particularly proud of.

 
The Topsy-Turvy Tales of Trevor the Toad
-Excerpt from Chapter 4: King of the Castle

pennswoods: (Default)

It’s an indisputable fact that toads are much cuter when they’re plump. After a few months of good feeding at Hogwarts, Trevor thought he was looking particularly handsome.

Neville, however, began to complain about growing lopsided from toting Trevor around in the same pocket.

The Topsy-Turvy Tales of Trevor the Toad
-Excerpt from Chapter 4: King of the Castle

pennswoods: Trevor Tales (Trevor Tales)

Sitting in Neville’s pocket and listening to Binns drone on for an hour, Trevor began wishing his life were more exciting. The next day, Trevor’s wish came true – Neville had his first flying lesson.


It was a good thing toads bounce.

 

The Topsy-Turvy Tales of Trevor the Toad
-Excerpt from Chapter 4: King of the Castle
pennswoods: Trevor Tales (Trevor Tales)
Who says a toad can't have memoirs?  Here are the topsy-turvy tales of Trevor the Toad, Neville Longbottom's suave but loyal pet and a key behind-the-scenes player (in more sense than one) in Harry Potter's ongoing struggle against You-Know-Who.



Chapter 1: In the Fishbowl

In the Fishbowl
Out of the Mouths of Babes

Chapter 2: Into the Pocket

Great Expectations
Lush
The Toad and His Boy
Stinky Pockets
Toad Licking

Chapter 3: All Aboard the Hogwarts Express

A Veritable Hotbed of Romance and Passion
Bertie Botts
A Cunning Toad
The Potions Nutter
A Touch of Gas

Chapter 4: King of the Castle

On the Make
Birthday Cake
Flying Lessons
A Weighty Matter
Other People's Pets

Chapter 5: Evil Bad Things


A Monstrous Thing

Chapter 6: Growing Pains

Pocket Pirate

Semper Paratus
A Dish Best Served Toad

Chapter 7: Something Squishy This Way Comes

Splish-Splash
Wildly Inappropriate

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Sometimes Trevor wished it were possible for toads to cry. When news of the slain unicorn reached him, he crept away to his secret hiding place under the sink in the girl’s loo and listened to Myrtle cry enough for the both of them.

But even all her tears couldn’t bring the beautiful unicorn back.
 

The Topsy-Turvy Tales of Trevor the Toad
-Excerpt from Chapter 5: Evil Bad Things

 

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Trevor loved birthday cakes. He loved licking the icing, rolling around in the crumbs, and blowing out all the candles.

For some reason, this made him very unpopular with Neville’s new roommates on THEIR birthdays.

The Topsy-Turvy Tales of Trevor the Toad
-Excerpt from Chapter 4: King of the Castle
pennswoods: (Default)
Trevor did not like dogs. As far as he was concerned, they were big, hairy, slobbery pests with terrible social skills. He particularly despised Augusta Longbottom’s pet spaniel, Montgomery, who had an awful addiction to licking toads.

The Topsy-Turvy Tales of Trevor the Toad
-Excerpt from Chapter 2: Into the Pocket
pennswoods: (Default)

Trevor took in the huge lake surrounding Hogwarts Castle. Things were certainly going his way already - a lake meant lots of water pixies. He puffed out his chest to look his most impressive.

Trevor had always had a thing for water pixies.

The Topsy-Turvy Tales of Trevor the Toad
-Excerpt from Chapter 4: King of the Castle

pennswoods: Trevor Tales (Trevor Tales)
It was while Neville was frantically scouring the Hogwarts Express looking for him that Trevor discovered the joys of junk food. He’d stowed away on the snack trolley and had nestled his way into an open bag of every-flavoured beans. He gulped down one that was deliciously mud-flavoured, another that tasted exactly like worms, and a third that tickled his tongue, warmed his tummy and made him feel particularly amorous.

 That one must have been strawberry.

 
The Topsy-Turvy Tales of Trevor the Toad
-Excerpt from Chapter 3: All Aboard the Hogwarts Express

pennswoods: Trevor Tales (Trevor Tales)

In Trevor’s opinion, the pureblood wizard boy Neville Longbottom was a hopeless case. He wore his hair in a bowlcut, had the fashion sense of a color-blind eighty-year-old witch, and was a huge klutz.

For some inexplicable reason, Trevor found himself developing a soft spot for the kid.

The Topsy-Turvy Tales of Trevor the Toad
-Excerpt from Chapter 2: Into the Pocket

pennswoods: (Poor Trevor)

On Friday, Neville toted Trevor along to his first ever potions class. Within seconds of laying eyes on the potions master, however, Trevor recognized signs of trouble.

The good professor clearly needed a thorough shampoo, some moisturizer, and a breathmint.

 

The Topsy-Turvy Tales of Trevor the Toad
-Excerpt from Chapter 3: All Aboard the Hogwarts Express

Lush

Apr. 7th, 2007 07:19 pm
pennswoods: (Poor Trevor)
Aside from the occasional mishap, usually caused by Neville accidentally breaking, dropping or tripping over something, life with the Longbottoms was rather uneventful.

Trevor considered taking up drinking to alleviate his boredom.

The Topsy-Turvy Tales of Trevor the Toad
-Excerpt from Chapter 2: Into the Pocket

pennswoods: (Poor Trevor)
Trevor was overjoyed to learn he was being adopted by a pureblood family. Pureblood families lived in large mansions, threw sophisticated soirees and had excellent taste. He’d be right at home.

 But then he met Neville Longbottom and immediately began hatching an escape plan.

 
The Topsy-Turvy Tales of Trevor the Toad
-Excerpt from Chapter 2: Into the Pocket

pennswoods: (Poor Trevor)
The first time Neville stuffed him into his pocket, Trevor discovered he was severely allergic to toothpaste. Normally this wouldn’t have been a problem except that for some odd reason, Neville had crammed his soggy toothbrush into the pocket of his robes instead of putting it in the medicine cabinet.

As Trevor eyed the offensive oral instrument, he felt himself breaking out in spots.

The Topsy-Turvy Tales of Trevor the Toad
-Excerpt from Chapter 2: Into the Pocket

pennswoods: (Poor Trevor)
The day Trevor’s squeaky tadpole voice began to crack was the most embarrassing of his young life. He’d finally managed to catch the eye of the sweetest girl toadlet in the fishbowl and had opened his mouth to dazzle her with his rapier wit when out came something that sounded like a cross between a belch and a snore.

 He spent a week sulking under a toadstool before he regained his dignity.

 
The Topsy-Turvy Tales of Trevor the Toad
-Excerpt from Chapter 1: In the Fishbowl

pennswoods: (Toad)
Trevor splashed on his favorite cologne, Ew de Stinky Swamp, puffed out his chest and preened. Today he would be accompanying Neville to Hogwarts, a veritable hotbed of romance and passion - or so rampant rumors among the garden gnomes out back had led him to believe.

The Topsy-Turvy Tales of Trevor the Toad
-Excerpt from Chapter 3: All Aboard the Hogwarts Express
pennswoods: (Toad)
As a young tadpole, Trevor used to dream of one day kissing a beautiful princess and turning her into a toad. He’d spend hours practicing smoldering, come-hither looks and admiring his reflection in the glass walls of his fishbowl.

Hot damn, but he was going to be a fine-looking toad!

The Topsy-Turvy Tales of Trevor the Toad
-Excerpt from Chapter 1: In the Fishbowl

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